Mamma Mia
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I wanted to let all of you readers out there know that my therapy is going swimmingly. I think I am making some very good progress. I’ve already come to the conclusion that I hate my father and love my mother. My psychoanalyst Herr Doctor Rashid Kaukab Finkelstein (a strict Freudian) says that this is quite an advanced version of the Oedipus complex. Normally, my doctor tells me only men suffer from this particular problem. Nonetheless I seem to have achieved the impossible. Who says there’s a glass ceiling?
Most of the time, the good doctor and I talk about my dreams and childhood experiences. I seem to have gotten past the dream I was having about my killer fish food. Herr Doctor Finkelstein and I determined that this was really not about food at all, but about my fears of abandonment. As we’ve been talking through my problems, we’ve found that this fear is much more deep seated than my relationship with my owner.
In one dream I’ve been having I see brightly colored fish and I hear the melodic sounds of Portuguese. I don’t know Portuguese, at least during the day. However at night my secret memories of Portuguese are awakened. I believe I must have learned it during my time matriculating at an exclusive French-German School in Switzerland. I was on scholarship. I believe the fish talking to me is my mother. I had always believed that my mother was a common carnival fish, but now I believe my dreams are telling me otherwise. I believe that my mother was a goldfish of Portuguese extraction who was a big performer on the aquarium circuit.
After consulting with my therapist, I have decided to embark on a world tour. I will travel the world, going from aquarium to aquarium in search of my mother. Only when I find my mother will my alienation and troubling dreams cease. Wish me luck. Au revoir.
July 17th, 2005 at 10:26 am
Dear Molly:
I am a marine biologist — I am curator emeritus of fishes at the Oregon Coast Aquarium and former president of the American Society of Ichthyologists. I have been reading your blog with great interest. You are perhaps the first fish to share with the wider world the inner workings of your psyche, and I want to tell you that your writings are of great interest to the marine sciences community.
Though I am no longer an active member of the scientific staff, I still maintain close ties. I would like to cordially invite you to stay at our aquarium here in Oregon as you go on your world tour. I believe your willingness to share your experiences via the Web - particularly, with human beings - is unique, and that the staff and visitors of OCA would be delighted if you could come.
I am reasonably sure that I can arrange for your trip, and likely even, your entire world tour, to be paid by our aquarium. Because your work is unprecedented, it would be a great privilege for us at OCA to sponsor your work and travels. I can also use my extensive connections with my colleagues at other aquariums around the world to ensure that you receive only the best accommodations available. As you know, some of the conditions at certain aquariums (that shall remain, for the moment, unnamed) are spartan at best and downright toxic at worst.
I can imagine that this offer of generosity coming from out of the blue would be a great surprise, even a shock, to you. But please know that, actually, you have given all of us humans a great gift. We at OCA only ask in return that you give a public lecture in Portland. My agent in New York could seek out Terry Gross or any other journalist you prefer to participate in an on-stage conversation with you.
Please write me back directly, or via your blog, if you prefer, if you would like to learn more about all this. I would like to conclude by noting your dream about your mother. If you like, I would be happy to help you trace your genealogy. At OCA I can use the latest technology available to read your genetic profile. You may not be aware of this — because we have yet to announce it — the Goldfish Genome Project (GGP) was begun two years ago here and has just been completed. I was the the director and principal investigator (PI) on the project. I also speak fluent Portuguese, a result of my having learned the language during an undergraduate internship in Brazil. My colleague in Lisbon, Senhor João São Vicente, may be able to assist us. I cannot promise any great revelations, but it may be possible to reunite you with your extended family using this new GGP data.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Very truly yours,
Dr. Sam Liu
Curator emeritus of Fishes, Oregon Coast Aquarium
lucidverve@gmail.com